Alright, we’re getting right down to the difficult-to-admit issues today. Shopping mistakes! We’ve all made them. Some more than others. I am some; I have made a ton of them. Let me share with you how I finally got my little walk in closet to stop side-eyeing me.

Prefer to watch/listen? Check out the YouTube video here: Click Me

#1 Emotional shopping

Ahh, my enemy. Let’s open up with the really honest one. Through therapy, I have really opened my eyes to all the unhealthy coping strategies I created instead of dealing with emotionally difficult things. Having several behaviors – among them shopping – compared to other, more recognized forms of dependency, was truly eye-opening to me. While I never suffered so badly I got into debt for a shopping addiction, I became a lot more aware of my own emotions while shopping. Especially online, as it is so easy to reach for your phone to distract us whenever we feel some discomfort. Now I make it a point to not use shopping as a distraction from something I need to actually deal with. Don’t get me wrong, I still reward myself and get myself a present as a celebratory thing, but shopping is not my emotional support hobby anymore. And while the habitual shopping to deal with uncomfortable emotions (could there be a better example than going shopping to deal with being upset because you just received massive credit card bill for last month’s shopping?), I find that shopping when you’re very emotional can also lead to bad purchases because the goal is to make you feel better in the moment, not to critically evaluate whether something is a worthy purchase with longevity to it.

My solution: My solution to this was to first become aware that this is something I did. And and then I have mainly three strategies to avoid it. The first is to replace emotional shopping with other coping mechanism or even hobbies. When that doesn’t work, I have made a pre-planned list of things I actually want to buy and things I have thought through with my logical, non-emotional brain. This way, if I shop, at least I end up with something that is a considered purchase. The third thing I do is to satisfy any shopping itch with “perishable” items. So if I can direct my energy towards buying items that I will use and won’t sit around and create clutter, I do that. It can be ingredients for a new recipe, flowers or even makeup products I go through a lot (so, not a new eyeshadow palette, but I will allow brow products, for example).

#2 Impulse shopping

The sister of the emotional shopping, impulse shopping has the same lack of thought behind it. It often leads to purchases that have absolutely nothing to do in your wardrobe or your lifestyle. And I partially struggle with this, because some of my absolutely favorite and most-worn pieces in my wardrobe have been impulse purchases. But also a lot of the worst were.

Solution? One is easy and one is hard. The first, and easiest way to cool down impulse shopping is to set an amount of time between finding and item and pressing “place order”. Even just a 24 hour period will often mean I have completely forgotten about the item. If I keep thinking about it for several days, it’s more worth considering seriously purchasing it. The other method comes (at least for me) through a loooot of learning your own personal style. If you focus on this, you will eventually start to recognize what types of items you might be drawn to, but not get much use out of and which are staples you keep wearing (making them more sound purchases).

3. The “I will get it tailored to fit me”

As with every rule, there is an exception. And I personally have to buy a lot of garments with the mind to do one or a few minor tweaks to them. Mostly this is hemming or taking a garment in here or there. However, this excuse can become a bit of a crutch when it comes to “allowing” ourselves to purchase items that don’t really fit well at all, if we’re being honest.

Solution: Recognize that not everything is made for every single person and some things we will just have to admire from afar. I typically set a limit at 2-3 alterations, because I usually have to hem near everything I buy (hello fellow petites, you know what I am talking about). But if I also have to take in the waist and raise the crotch area? Might as well just buy another pair of trousers (or even make them from scratch at this point..).

4. The magpie shopping

Technically a magpie? Worn only twice in over a year, but it’s treasured all the same.

Have you heard of a magpie clothing piece? They are so called as to describe the attraction we get to shiny things, or in this case, clothing. You know the type – the impossibly beautiful and sparkly dress that looks like it is taken straight out of some fantastical fairytale. Something we get drawn to, and where we get obsessed with how sparkly the item is, so we forget to think before grabbing it. And please note, this does not have to be only literally sparkly clothing, it includes all clothing that is a little out of touch with the reality of our day-to-day lives. The problem is: where on this earth do you wear it? Some of these “magpie” pieces will have their uses – just very limited. I do allow myself a to have a small percentage of “unrealistic” clothing – something I may only wear once every several years. But I have become much, much more conscious of trying to admire those unrealistic-for-my-lifestyle pieces from afar, rather than buying (and storing!!!) them all.

Solution: I focus on taking points I love about these pieces and translate them into my everyday outfits that actually work for my lifestyle. Before I buy something, I ask myself where I will wear this piece and that helps me keep on track and be realistic with my wardrobe. And those magpie items I actually do purchase? I make sure it’s something I will love for years and it’s not a cheap, fleeting trend I won’t ever wear or that it’s something so trendy it will be dated by the time I actually get a chance to wear it.

#5 Consistently choosing quantity over quality

This is a bit of a mindset shift that requires thinking about the way you dress differently. If you feel the pressure to always wear a new outfit and having coworkers notice that you have a new top and so on, you probably see value in buying a larger quantity of clothing, rather than pieces you love and want to keep wearing over and over again. Shifting my mindset to thinking I could afford more expensive clothing, just less of it, I immediately put more value into my clothing and made much more thoughtful decisions. If you are always looking for a bargain, rather than an amazing piece for your wardrobe, you may need to take a look at your shopping and evaluate whether you could actually get one or more really high quality (and treasured) pieces for your wardrobe, for the price of all those near-disposable items you have collected the past year. Several years ago I realized that some months I spent more on fast fashion than I would have actually buying a designer piece I would have for many, many years. That made me think about my wardrobe completely differently. I urge you to bring out the calculator and do a little bit of math on how much you have spent on clothing you wore less than 3 times and really consider cost-per-wear when you go shopping next. I will always much prefer to wear a beloved cashmere coat for the 100th (or 200th, 300th…!) time, than a new, cheap coat I don’t really love. Always.